are you unhappy? go Hab-a-kkuk…

it has been more than a month since moving back here in the Philippines from BC, Canada, now trying to continue to live the life we have left 8 years ago..

i thank God for sustaining both me and my husband. it is not easy starting all over again, like when we did the time we first landed in Canada, and now here… i have secretly wished my husband would change his mind and tell me that our move here is just temporary… but it just causes more sadness than being hopeful. besides, all my wishes are not God’s wishes for me and my husband, His are better of course… so i submit to His plans…

but you know, as a soldier of Christ, we always fight our daily battles to keep away from anything not in accord with His standards.. so, my bible, my best friend, has always been my handy sword and shield in my time of need… and i want to share this with you…

habakkuk

thank God for His words they lift me up!!

next time you feel as if nothing is happening in your life… go have-a-coke…. er,,,  i meant to say…. Hab-a-kkuk… listen to what Habakkuk has to say… and stay joyful.. 🙂

God bless you!

M.

Advertisements

Happy Thanksgiving…

it’s Thanksgiving once again… (Celebrated October 12th in Canada)

Canadian-Thanksgiving-Day-Wallpaper

yesterday, the church hosted a thanksgiving luncheon and also farewell for me and Dersky… i love my church… i am so blessed… in the morning, we attended our last church service after 8 years of building up friendships and fellowships, before flying home and as i sang with the praise team up in front, i was a bit in tears, looking at our church members who i came to love especially the seniors, they are in their 80’s and 90’s… the good bye they gave me was… “see you in our Father’s house”, telling me that it won’t be long that they will soon be called home.. 😥 i am going to miss them.. 

eileen

we aren’t totally done with packing and clearing our apartment, i can’t believe we have accumulated so much in just 8 years!! first we dumped everything in the bedroom, it’s where we choose which ones to throw away, which ones to give away, and those we will bring home, we dump in the living room… now it’s the second stage sorting haha,, asking each other, do we really need this? so, until we trimmed down our stuff to those that we want to bring home then we pack them.. 

last week i was in San Francisco, i came across a book which i almost bought, good thing i didn’t but i guess Miss Fate wants me to have it when i saw it here in B.C. at 25% less the price.. i think i have to read this through now that we are starting again once we arrive in the Philippines… friends say cluttering runs in our family, i am in denial, but, guess what,, 60 to 70% of what we packed were all mine.. Dersky’s not complaining though… i still deny it that i am a clutterer.. i am just senti-“mental”… he he..

02900801bcaf4f3b8629b526418dda5a9aed66f84dc073c6cffe51b51802207e

the book that might cure my sentimentalism

our flight is tomorrow night, so my target is to finish everything by noontime tomorrow before we call our landlord for a walk through..

a big big sigh… once we land in Manila, this will be over.. it’s back to business,, life goes on again… just move on, move on… 

i am tired, but thank You Dear Lord, for sustaining me.. i am grateful for each day that i am able to accomplish things.. You have given me much, i truly believe You have been looking after me and Dersky with so much grace and mercy and LOVE.. 🙂

meantime,, i have to ready myself for the 13 hour flight, stopping in Taipei, Taiwan for 5 days before heading to Manila for another 2 hour flight….. whew!! 

are you tired?  ask God for strength, He will definitely keep you going as long as you allow Him to… surrendering is the thing to do.. 🙂

“The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.” ~Habakkuk 3:19

M.

change of plans….

our suite is almost empty…
my dresser, my cupboard, our bedroom, the walls,,,
the furniture one by one sold, disposed of, or been donated…
tv sets are boxed, etc..

ALMOST EMPTY...

ALMOST EMPTY…

there is a major change happening here. after 8 years of living life in Canada, we are moving on.. moving back to our home country…

as my dear husband “un-hang” our portrait we got from Sears to pack it away, i cried a little bit…

is this temporary or permanent move? i do not know… 8 years ago, i had the same question as we packed our things to land here in this beautiful part of the world…. i guess this move answers it… now, i cannot say if our moving back will be something permanent or just another “spur of the moment” decision… but no, it is not spur of the moment decision. it has been lingering in both my husband and my mind. first me, then him, then, took a while until our minds synced. so came the unanimous decision as we always try to decide on major things together… maybe this is how it is when we grow older, we tend to be reminiscent of where we came from, of the usual…. and for a really small family of two, we can go where our minds and hearts want to bring us without any care for our child’s school, peers, etc etc..

is this God’s plan for us? or merely our plan? i do not know… we have constantly prayed for God to reveal His plans for us,, and as the day came nearer and plans laid down, the circumstances make our decision justifiable… opportunities back home are opening up…. an office associate, having a high risk pregnancy, needs relief from work, and i am just the right person to help her having worked with her for many many many years… and a new line of business is brewing and so on….

it is difficult to detach myself from things i have gotten used to, we all do oftentimes, right? but what comforts me is the thought that it is just temporary where i am, whether here or there, someday, i will be called to my permanent home… but in the meantime, life goes on, i have to move on, one step at a time, and totally surrendering everything to God in prayer and in faith…

so,, it’s good bye for now here.. but not yet forever…

Proverbs 19:21 ESV “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

M.

what running has taught me…

finally i ran my fourth half marathon Sunday morning via the National Geographic’s Earth Day Run 2015. the event was successful, at least for me, i finished without injuries and though didn’t beat my PR, i am happy i made it and for the first time in my birth country, the Philippines, for that matter.

0b2242c195a124905ecdeaa7d6f069fb1078a918dc82e8513965f83cd0a370d6

it was so humid that even in the first 20 minutes from start line i was profusely perspiring already… total opposite of my runs in cool cool Vancouver.. and to think that gunstart was at 3 a.m. my goodness! but it was good though, lots of victims of heatstroke in this country at this time of year and with thousands of participants, organizers perhaps made sure runners will be comfortable, except for maybe lack of sleep for some..

IMG_3400

my niece, with my sister midst the crowd

this was the struggle that went on in my mind while running:
-at 10kms, i thought i should have signed up for 10 instead of 21kms, so I conceded that I was
tired, began to slow down, walked a little, jogged a little,,,

+but,,, no, i’m in it so i have to finish with my best effort…

-but,,, i started imagining my shin pain, my ankle pain, my whatever pain,,

+but,,, i remembered all the hours i put in for training,, i mustn’t slowdown..

-but,,, i lack sleep, i have a good reason for a mediocre performance..

+-+-+- but.. but… i was battling my demons,, in the end, sheer determination and mind over matter prevailed… God has sustained me, i finished not beating my PR but beating my demons..

did you know that the devil attacks you at your most vulnerable state? had i been the same person i was before i met the Lord, i would be buried by now, probably killed myself or buried under my cloud of negativity and hopelessness.. but thank God He revealed Himself to me, yes, i was given choices before, but now, i can choose better because i have Him as my guide…

my dear friend and run mentor, Allyn also joined the run, though I wished we ran together, we weren’t able to find each other amidst the 20,000 participants, to look for her is like needle in haystack…. but I am truly grateful that she participated and we had our souvenir “finish” line photo again after 5 or so years…

IMG_3391

Me and Allyn – seems like old times.. 🙂

 

so what has running taught me? I realized that I am (we all are) the easy targets of the devil, the bible says “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” ~1 Peter 5:8 especially during our darkest and trying times, in our tiredness, he is just waiting to victimize us.

But take heart!! God is our victor! He lifts us up and helps us finish our race, through heat and blisters, from hopelessness to encouragement, all we need to be is faithful and trust in His Sovereignty… then we’ll cross the finish line defeating our demons.. God triumphs!

M.

Miss Countdown…

my dear brother, Tony, calls me “Miss Countdown”… because each time something’s coming up, like scheduled travels, a race that i have signed up with, someone special’s birthday, etc, i would announce to the family “10 days to go.. ” “3 days to go”…

i guess nothing is wrong with that… i am always super hyper with anything, or i could also be the opposite, dreading the arrival of something, like now, i have 38 days to go til i fly back to BC, i don’t want to think of leaving yet, but the day is coming nearer and nearer..

yesterday, i told my brother, i have so many things still need to be done, yet there is not much time for me. i remember that huge bulletin board in High School where it was written boldly: Live your life as if it were your first day, your last day, YOUR ONLY DAY! now whoever authored this motto sure did know how precious each minute , each second of his/her life was.. everyday, i think of my departure date as my “last day” and that i have to accomplish as much as i can before that day ever comes..

last day

truth is we never know when our last day on earth will be. i think i ought to say everyday “ONE DAY TO GO”… or better, “THIS IS THE DAY”… well, i think when my time has come that i will be called home, i am sure i am so ready, “finished or unfinished, pass your papers” as my teacher would announce during quizzes.. my life is secured in knowing God and He has led me to preparing myself to meet HIM soon… 🙂

GLORY

how about you? have you thought of how to spend your days? did you ever think of preparing yourself to that BIG day when God calls you home? try connecting with Him, i am sure you’ll be counting down your days everyday to be with Him!!  To God be all Glory!!

8 months to go til Christmas…
38 days to go til i fly back to B.C…
28 days to go til my NatGeo Earth Day run…
3 days to go til my Lenten Retreat…
1 day to go, it’s APRIL!!

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” ~Psalm 90-12

M.

less talking, more praying…

attended church service this morning, after missing three Sundays of service, am i glad to have been able to go today with Dersky.

we sang a beautiful praise music called “Mighty to Save”, lyrics said, “Saviour, He can move the mountains, my God is Mighty to Save, He is Mighty to Save.”

mountains

if you are in a situation where you think you do not know what to do, remember God can move mountains.  meaning, anything we ask of Him, He can always do… guaranteed!

right now, i don’t know what to do with a small family situation where although i am not directly involved but am greatly affected because i love my family.. i tried to give my unsolicited advice, but i also cannot solve other people’s problems… singing this song this morning, it reminded me to surrender everything to Him.. He is the mountain mover….. now i will talk less to avoid conflict, better to just pray more and let Him handle it… it’s out of my hands… it’s in God’s hands… He is mighty to save us from troubles…

Psalms 50:15 – And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

M.

on deciding to follow Jesus..

recently, i heard a loved one say, “i need to work on my relationship with the Lord”…

my heart leapt, for joy i guess, because that would mean the Lord’s flock will increase!
but what can i tell her to encourage her more? well, first of all, i cannot and can never instruct her to do this and that. i can only share how i did it and made it.

i am a sinner. we all are, but i was an “unconfessing” sinner. there is a difference. before, i thought to myself, i was not doing the wrong thing, i did what makes me happy. i was proud. so God used my mistakes to correct me, many times painfully, much like, using the error to correct the error… hmmm makes sense? okay to put it differently, we learn from our mistakes!

having a relationship with God is a decision one makes, and no one can tell him/her how to do it, nothing from the outside will make the decision for him/her. it will come from the inside, from the heart… so when i finally decided i want to build my relationship with Jesus, i did what it takes to be near him.

first, i stayed away from secular interests, i love music, but  i began listening to praise music and Christian songs only. i stayed away from tv for a while, in fact i had no tv in my room, all i had was the A.M. radio, tuned in to the Christian station the whole night until sleepiness crept in. in my “previous” life, i would listen to pop music, silly love songs, and imagine things, then these things trigger me to drink, to smoke, to have fun.. to be carried away by my emotions, have pity on myself, etc etc. i watched movies that affect the mind badly, and gave me ideas how to sneak around. uhm uhm not good! okay this is me, people have different weaknesses…

footprints

then, i spent more time in church than anywhere else. in my “previous” life, i was out with friends, came home at 2 a.m. drunk. even during my married life.. i thought that was happiness. it led me to dishonesty to my husband (subtler infidelity) and everything that came with it.. i tried to learn more about Jesus by reading the bible stories more, and became more positive person, though not perfect, but am more at peace.

now that is one decision i made that i never regret. my heart is already a stronghold of God’s presence. yes i do listen to pop music now, rarely watch tv though except cooking shows, since i already know God filters everything i see and listen to. i am secured. and it was all because He helped me go through with it.

so, there. i pray for my dear friend, i know it’s a tough decision because you have to change a lot of “normal usual” things you do,, but take heart, surrender it to Him and He will lead your way, easily :)..

how about you, have you decided to follow Him?

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” ~Psalm 51:12

M.