3 a.m. Cardinal Santos Medical Center

the sound i hear is blowing of the a/c vent, the sporadic beeping of the cardiac monitor, and the pumping of the oxygen concentrator.. this may be another long night for me.

earlier at 10:30 p.m. we were roused by a call from the bedside nurse to come over and wait as my mother’s blood pressure rises and drops. her pulse rate in the 100s. her hands and feet are cold, forehead sweating.

how do i feel now? i know tears will be inevitable, yet i have already resigned to the fact that Mama will soon be going home. in fact, i am excited for her. i can imagine angels in a-row, waiting to blow the trumpets and play their harps as she enters the eternal kingdom of our Lord. what a sight it will be! and even if i see her bruised body here on earth, i can already see her glowing and flawless spirit afloat… and smiling 🙂

as i have mentioned before, death is the gateway to eternal bliss, and for this, i delight in my sorrow… i am happy for mama to have her rest soon. she is tired and she is bound to go home. How Great is our God…

however, her final day is yet to come. sumtimes i ask the Lord, why it takes so long for Mama to go? but again, i only hear the beep.. beep.. the a/c vent blowing, and no answer.. Mama’s limbs are now skin and bones and bruised, her face is still bit rounded, her belly bloated due to her liver condition… no longer i see her smiling face, just a blank stare, and we both wait… and wait… and wait… and i think, it is what the Lord’s answer is… just wait in silence and in prayer…

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26



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