“God comforts us whenever we suffer. That is why whenever other people suffer, we are able to comfort them by using the same comfort we have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:24
Mama is drifting away…
she had cardiac arrest on a Good Friday, left her in vegetative state. it is so sad i will never hear her voice again, i will never be able to see her smile again, for my entire life, Mama loves me so very much, being the “bunso” (youngest) and the baby of the family.
I want to remember the good times we have had, those which are easier to carry in my heart, rather than what i am seeing now.
Mama is basically a jolly, wonderful, strong willed person, despite being widowed at age 33 and left with seven children to raise. Now, i am not saying this just because she is almost “gone”… people say we say nice things about people when they’r gone… yes, it is a sad truth. but in my heart, i know mama knows i love her. she knows we are a ‘TEAM’… i may have moved on with my own life but she is still very much part of my life where i am at now.
Wherever Mama went, i would ALWAYS tail behind. when she was busy earning money, going to the market, meeting someone, for business or social reasons, i was always “glued” to the hems of her dress..
Until I was a young lady, she faithfully went to the Redemptorist church every Wednesday, it was her vow to the lady of Perpetual Help which i believe was her only way to go through all her trials in life, raising a huge family all on her own.. and made it she did!!! all she achieved was, i believe, due to hard work PLUS her Faith in God. We two would take the bus to Baclaran, but i was more focused on the balut (duck eggs) she would buy on the way home,, it was only where we could get those at that time..
i remember travelling to Lubao, Pampanga by bus with her to collect money from a customer. i think this customer had no intentions of paying, we went back to his house like 2 or 3 times but nothing.. so we watched a Tagalog movie instead in the town theater, went to the local market and she bought me miniature clay pots 🙂 with the few pesos in her bag, then off we went home not collecting a single centavo…
Mama loves adventure. If not for Mama, i would never have the experience to see the Hundred Islands, Bicol, and many out of town trips by land. we could not afford flying then. She would always bring all our workers, sometimes as many as 15 or 20 of them, erect a makeshift canvas tent on our flatbed truck, then just go to the beach. She took charge of the food, cooked ala camping style for like 20 or 30 people.
At one time, we had Army truckloads of Aetas from Patling, Pampanga, maybe about a hundred of them, young and old, come to our compound where we lived. Oh how they loved my mother calling her “Ninang” (Godmother). they danced their native dance, while Mama was busy preparing their meals, it was really like a town fiesta in our own compound… and the final event was when Mama distributed five peso bills to each and every one of them. That’s why she was called “Ninang”.
whenever she had to go someplace where i should’nt be, we two would always play hide & seek until she successfully sneaked out of the house and left without me. i would holler and roll on the floor bawling until i just get tired of doing it… but she was already on her way.
Now, what use would it be to bawl? she IS on her way, and to never come back…. on her way home to our Creator…. and of course, it is no reason to bawl… it is a reason to CELEBRATE.. celebrate her homecoming!!!!
I am happy that towards her last year, we were able to bring her closer to Jesus Christ, I thank God for using me, my family, and our Pastor friends, for Mama to know Him. God works in ways we cannot see.. who would know why things transpired the way they did in the last few months of Mama’s life, only GOD KNOWS…
Ma, if given the choice for myself, i would not want you to leave. Everything happened too fast too soon… But you were only lent to me by my Lord… so return you to Him i should. I thank you Mama, for all the times you saved your meal for me, for the times you cried when i could not bear a child… the times when you call my name EVERYTIME you open your eyes in the morning upon waking up… THANK YOU MAMA. I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH and enjoy your BETTER LIFE in HEAVEN… i’ll see you when i see you.
NOTE: as of June 07, 2011, mama has been stable.. that fateful day on April 22, we thought mama left us already when she had her cardiac arrest. God had other plans. though she stays in coma or vegetative state now, we pray that she will be able to wake up to smile at me again or say my name once more like that Sunday on April 17, when she pointed her finger at me and uttered my name and said “BUNSO KO” (my youngest..) 🙂